Tuesday, February 1, 2011

I'll just blame it on the phlegm

About a month ago my mom gave me a box of stuff from my childhood that she had found in the garage. It wasn't a big box, but its contents were still plenty embarrassing.  There were baby pictures, several books that I just omigosh had to have from the book-fair, my parent's wedding album, report cards, a "journal" (I only wrote two entries and they were about Billy Ray Cyrus. I'm not kidding.)

And then I dug out this gem: a 4th grade progress from the fall of 1992.

Now, I was never a great student. I was a good kid, just not a good student. I did enough to get by. I was shy and a little socially awkward during my elementary years. Okay, okay, so I was socially awkward up until.... well,  I may still be a tad. But I digress.  This progress report, while it may be from the 4th grade, pretty much still holds true today.
Notice my handy dandy little scale up in the corner. I knew someday I'd need to know what the pluses and checks meant.

Reading - + Stacey's comprehension is progressing.
Yep. I read. I comprehend. It progresses. Pretty much true today.
Spelling - *check mark* Study your word list daily for the weekly test on Friday.
This might explain my dependency on spell check. I blame the lack of studying on phlegm. 
Language - +
Yep. I can speak it and comprehend it. I just can't spell it.
Math - *check mark* Stacey isn't as comfortable with problem solving and some math concepts.
I. Hate. Math. I've always hated math - especially problem solving because I can't just type it into a calculator. That's because I'm lazy.
I have no idea what "Theme related activities" means for Social Studies and Science/Heath. 

Ah, now onto my work habits.

Oh, do you need to refer to my chart?

So, basically, I work well in groups (because someone else can problem solve and spell the work that I can't understand) and I follow directions. (As long as I'm not distrac- ugh, I need to put a new light bulb in the light fixture over the kitchen table.)

And then' there's that big long letter on the side. Yikes. Yeah. That was my first thought, too. It's never a good thing when a teacher writes something that lengthy on a progress report. 

It reads: 
Dear Family,
Stacey is a very sweet girl. She brings kindness and joy to my classroom. 
I'm concerned about Stacey's distractability. Some days she is unfocused to the point that she hears very little of the class discussions.  Also she is disorganized at times, misplaces work and has a very slow start on her assignments.  Is there a physical problem that you're aware of - allergies, sinus problems? Please call for a conference so we can make plans to help Stacey early in the school year.

Sinus problems? Really? Does phlegm cause distractablity and disorganization in 4th graders?  Can you say Ritalin candidate? 

What's really interesting is that everything on that report pretty much still true to my life almost 20 years later. 

I'm totally going to start blaming stuff on my phlegm from now on. 


SuziG said...

You didn't hear about the great phlegm controversy? Apparently it causes children to be unorganized, inattentive, AND to have a calculator dependency.
OR, maybe it was just this teacher hoping that she'd found a major breakthrough as to why she'd had issues as a child. Lol.

Trinity said...

I think that was your teacher giving your parents a BIG hint. Teachers aren't really allowed to say OMG WILL YOU PLEASE, PLEASE PUT THIS CHILD ON RITALIN NOW!!! BEFORE I GO INSANE? KTHANX"

Trinity said...

Umm, that got sent before it was supposed to be. Anyway,

So teachers try to kind of hint around the subject until the parent gets clued in that the teacher thinks your child has ADD/ADHD. Or, of course, she could have been like my son's teacher who swore up and down that Sam couldn't have ADHD even though I walked in to get him and he was climbing on top of the bookshelves, preparing to jump off and she was just watching him until I looked at him and said "WHAT do you think you're doing?" She then said "Oh, he's been a little active today" Yeah, she was awesome.