Friday, June 24, 2011

File this under "N" for "Nasty"

I'm sorry if you were mislead by the title, but it ain't that kinda post, boys (and some girls.)

When I was pregnant with Jack, I made one of my many trips to Arby's during my lunch break.  I walked in and took my place in line behind an older man.  He looked normal enough; he was well-kept and there were no funky odors of Bengay overpowering that glorious smell roast beef and curly fries.

And then, the dude ordered his food.  Now, let me just take this moment to say I've known alot of Weird Foodies.  I once knew a girl that would order a cheeseburger with no cheese at this certain place in town. She didn't always order this, just when we were at this particular local burger joint. And I knew another one that would dip raw Ramen noodles in a mixture of ranch dressing and the flavor packet.  I'm not innocent of the odd food combinations, either. I used to eat chunky spaghetti sauce on white rice all the time during high school.   But what this man conjured up, well, it made me gag.
His order went a little something like this:

Man: I'd like a medium roast beef sandwich, please. No beef, mayonnaise only.

Clerk: Um, excuse me? Did you just ask for a roast beef sandwich with no beef?

Man: Yes. ma'am. No beef. Just mayonnaise, and I need 10 packets of Arby's sauce, too, please.

Clerk: Well, I have to charge you full price for the roast beef sandwich.

Man: That's fine. Just don't forget my Arby's Sauce.

Clerk: Okay, that'll be medium roast beef sandwich, no roast beef, with mayonnaise and some Arby's Sauce To Go? Is there anything else I can get for you?

Man: Nope. I've got a drink already. Thank you.  (He held up a bottle of buttermilk.)

Oh, my gawd, ya'll. That is nasty. Now, I've heard of people without alot of money eating ketchup sandwiches and what not, but I have never in my life heard of someone going into a fast food establishment and ordering one. Gag me with a spoon.

A few days ago, I found myself patronizing the local Arby's to fulfill my hankering for a turkey and swiss Marketfresh Sandwich. I stood in line anxiously awaiting my turn to order my mouth watering that the thought of the turkey deliciousness that would soon be making my tastebuds dance in delight.   I was debating on whether or not I wanted fries when I heard the man in front of me order:

Man:  I'll take a medium roast beef, no beef, just mayonnaise, with 10 packets of Arby's sauce to go.

This time the clerk didn't blink or bat an eye.It was obvious that this man was now a regular and this was his usual order.

Well, that, it just gross. I'm sorry.

But, man, Arby's does sound good for lunch today.

1 comment:

The Bat Cave said...

Sounds like he needs a jug of Arby Sauce and make his own. It's kind of disgusting!

My weird foodie thing is Dairy Queen french fries dipped in their soft serve!